The Pros and Cons of Raising a Multilingual Child

From the first day I knew that I was expecting my first child, the first thing come on my mind was, what language should I speak to her? My native language is Indonesian, But I speak English to my husband and some times in Italian. Our community language is Chinese and English at that time.

In Malaysia however, it is common for one person to speak at least 2 languages . Minimum they will speak Malay or Mandarin( or other Chinese dialects at home ), and English at school

I heard the myth from people that not to mixed language or else the babies will be confused. But I also know raising a multilingual children is POSSIBLE. And if you want to know the pro and cons keep on reading

Taken from : http://www.multilingualchildren.org

There are so many benefits to knowing more than one language that your multilingual child will no doubt be grateful to you forever. With many old myths it is sometimes difficult to make head or tail of it. So let's explore the real pros and cons.

The Pros

Growing up with multiple languages is the easiest, fastest, and most effortless way to learn a foreign language. For your baby, it will be as natural as learning one language is to all babies.

• It is easier to learn another language from birth than it is during any other time in life -- baby simply has two first languages. It is very true, It is just natural for babies
  
• Your child will have a head start in school. In most countries, a foreign language is mandatory.
  
• If your child wants to study more languages later in life, she will have a leg up. The differences in sounds, word order, stress, rhythm, intonation and grammatical structures will be easier to learn. For related languages, such as Spanish and French, the similar vocabulary will make learning especially fast.YES!!! It will be very easy for Indiana to learn Spanish and French as she can speak Italian! And she also speaks Mandarin fairly now compare to when we still live in China, but still speaking Mandarin does help her to learn other languages.
  
• Multilingualism has been proven to help your child develop superior reading and writing skills. I still don't know about it, Indy still can't read properly.
• Multilingual children also tend to have over all better analytical, social, and academic skills than their monolingual peers. Hope so! :)
  
• Knowing more than one language helps your child feel at ease in different environments. It creates a natural flexibility and adaptability, and it increases her self-esteem and self confidence. I think this is true , both of my girls have a great adaptability in different environments.
  
• Your child will develop an appreciation for other cultures and an innate acceptance of cultural differences.yes , specially for Indy. She accept the cultural differences and appreciate my culture and her dad culture.
  
• Career prospects are multiplied many times over for people who know more than one language. Helen Riley-Collins, president of Aunt Ann's In-House Staffing in San Francisco, said more than half her clients request nannies who speak another language. "Families who are involved in international business are thinking ahead," she said of her clients, many of whom work in high tech, investment banking or finance. "They want to give their children a head start in business in 20 years." Yes in 20 years from now, if a person can only speak English and Malay or Chinese it will just consider to be "average" . I think to find a good job it will help if they can speak more languages than that . ( poor children )
  
• If your native language is different from the community language, you probably will feel emotionally closer to your baby when speaking your native language to her.TRUE!!! I FEEL CLOSER TO THEM WITH MY MOTHER TONGUE !!
  

Parents tell us time and time again that they regret losing their own heritage language when growing up, something frequently reported on by the media as well. Here is one example:

Daniel told me that his mother, who was born in Mexico and immigrated to the United States as a child, suffered from racial prejudice, much of it because she didn't speak English. She decided that her children wouldn't live through the same humiliations; so her children would speak only English. In retrospect, Daniel understands his mother's love and motivations, but he still regrets that tough sacrifice. "My mother's decision hurt us in the long run," he told me. "When we started working, we discovered that speaking Spanish would have been an advantage for us in the workplace."... Besides allowing their child to miss out on the great opportunity of being bilingual, parents who don't stimulate the learning of their mother tongue are ensuring that their children lose a valuable cultural heritage, the last and most important connection to their roots. Full article here.

The Cons

Raising a multilingual baby is a practice fraught with misconceptions. Everyone has an opinion and may be more than happy to share it with you. But, extensive medical studies on language development in the last 10-20 years have proven most of these myths wrong.

To make an informed decision, you simply need to know the facts. The truth is that there are basically only four potential disadvantages, and even these are not true in every case:

Speaking Later. While there's no scientific evidence that proves multilinguals begin speaking later, many parents estimate that there is a three to six month delay compared to monolingual children the same age. If you think about it, it makes sense that a child learning two or more language systems might take more time, since they are actually learning twice as many words. Even so, six months is a small price to pay for the ability to speak two or three languages!My girls still speak in the normal time range even tough they speak a few different languages

Mixing languages. Mixing words is very common in children learning more than one language at a time. But this is a temporary phenomenon. At the age of four or five it has mostly disappeared. Don't forget that children who are learning only one language often use the wrong word until they learn the right one, and adults often say "umm" when the right word doesn't come quickly. When multilingual kids can't think of a word in Vietnamese, for example, they might borrow it from French. This automatically disappears when the vocabulary in each language increases. The best remedy is to be consistent when talking to your child. Your patience will be rewarded, guaranteed. Yes, they mixed words but when they start to go to school, they will use the proper words

Additional effort for the parents. This is probably the biggest issue. Raising a multilingual child is a commitment and much like piano lessons -- you can't expect your little one to be a virtuoso overnight. This is a long-term investment in your child. It will require extra effort on your part to provide enough language exposure, extra encouragement, keeping your language rules consistent, and in some cases even change the previous language pattern in the family. It can feel a bit awkward at first if you introduce a new language into the family when baby is born, but rest assured, after a few weeks it simply becomes a part of your daily routine. Incidentally, it's easier to raise a multilingual second child if your first child was raised that way. Your first will end up doing a lot of the work for you by simply being a natural chatterbox. Parents of multilingual children agree overwhelmingly that the benefits for their children are well worth the effort.

yes! it will need a lot of effort. I need to speak more Italian to them !!

Reading and writing. Yes, teaching a multilingual child to read and write adds to the academic load, especially if the aim is full literacy in all of your chosen languages. For many parents, it's enough if the child can speak in a particular language. Others want to go the extra mile and add reading and writing abilities. Of course, it's easier if the alphabet is the same, but even related alphabets such as the Roman, Russian, and Greek systems are similar enough that your child will pick them up fairly easily. Pictographs systems like Chinese, however, require a much more resolute effort.

There's no doubt that multilingual children have more advantages. Your extra effort will give them a valuable skill they'll use in numerous ways for the rest of their lives.

The first Chicken Soup for Indy

And I am not talking about food! Sure you all know it. It is the book. I am a chicken soup 's book fan. I got the 1st and 2nd serving of the chicken soup for soul and the one for every mom soul. And I just got the 3rd serving Chicken soup for the soul about 2 weeks ago. And I also bought the Chicken Soup for Kid's soul 2 for Indy. The stories for children age 6-10 .
I read it for Indy and she LOVES it soo much....This book is her first Chicken Soup collection for her.

We are enjoying the book so much. She is so in to the book, and amazed by the stories. And some are so similar to her own life ( one of them is the story about one girl that pretend to be sick so she could skip the spelling test at school and then the mother found out about that, and then taught the girl a lesson . The title of that story is MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING) And Indy whispered to me : ma...that was like me when I wanted to trick you last time........
Then I said : yes, and the same like in the story , moms always can found out about their children tricks......and I showed her my wicked smile .......:p


If you want to share a great book to your young kids , I really recommend this book. There are many of touching stories and wonderful stories

Most of people would agree that a kid who makes healthy life choices has a happier , better childhood. And what kid wouldn't want to have a great time reading while learning a good life lesson from real kids their own age?
the book teaches , but does not preach , by using examples of positive traits such as
Choosing to do the right thing when faced with a decision
Making friends by being a friend
accepting and enjoying other's differences
being brave when faced with challenge
staying true to themselves
appreciating change as part of life.

Making the effort to teach kids how to become the kind of people that others trust and respect can be one of the best gifts we could give to them....



The introduction

In today's world of busy parents and teachers and in many cases , busier kids , it's sometimes hard to stop long enough in our daily routines to find those valuable windows of time needed to share ageless bits of wisdom.Sometimes, it's even harder to find the wisdom to share. And with myriad mixed up messages being thrown at kids today about what matters in life, teaching good character seems to be what a constants battle. In our material world, the message that" looking out for number one" as the key to happiness seems to prevail. But encouraging kids to make healthy choices that are beneficial , not only to them , but to others as well, is a far more powerful message- and these are the choices that lead to satisfaction , happiness , fulfillment and success in life.....


While Indy is loving her book, I am also enjoying mine

Finally .....

Ok, so the search is over. Indy just passed the test for her new primary school next year. Will start in 5th of January.

I think she will do fine in this school. The school is using ACE ( accelerated Christian Curriculum) and emphasized on character building, which we think it is important as well. The system of learning are more into independent self learning .

The details are like this :

Students are provided with an individualized learning program that emphasizes on character-building and the Word of God, training the children to think well, act responsibly and live wisely. We are working towards integrating this curriculum with our national curriculum to fit in with the requirements as set by the Ministry of Education.

Accelerated Christian Education's concepts are based on the following Five Basic Laws of Learning:

* A child must be at a level where he can perform.
* He must have reasonable goals.
* His learning must be controlled, and he must be motivated.
* His learning must be measurable.
* His learning must be rewarded.

I am so grateful that Malaysian School System ( and mostly in ASIA) require the students to wear uniforms. I think it is an important step. I don't want to imagine sending my girl into the school like what they show in the T.V. That they can wear whatever they want, put on make up, do their hair in the rainbow color . What a night mare!

And yesterday I bought a magazine, Women's Weekly November 2008 issue about Stress in School age children. Some lines that caught my attention are:

Are you stressing out your kids?
......It's the great expectations from adults that become the stressors and bring on ill effects for the kids" says Dr. Daniel Fung , a child and adolescent psychiatry specialist
Dr. Fung explains: " it doesn't matter if a child doesn't do well in school.What matters is he doesn't do well and the parent or teacher is unhappy- the child then feels like he has failed in fulfilling their expectations"
....Middle class parents - the doctors, lawyers and accountants- want their kids to excel top in school just like they did, while blue collar workers want their kids to move up the social ladder " So you don't have to end up like me, living in a small flat..
For them, good grades are the ticket note Dr Clare Chong a school psychologist. Some parents live through their children and that push, whether done consciously or unconsciously, is passed on to their children
...An average student in primary school will feel like a failure, who never seems to make it when he pits himself against his smarter friends.

How can we help?
Rewards him for his effort , not his grades.
Expect him to perfom for his age , not yours
Practice good enough parenting


This is a very interesting parenting article. Make me think and review and remind my self not to expect the high goals for our children. And to think that they are living in the world that has more pressure, higher goals, more competitive than our childhood time. So give them a break once in a while, I didn't need to deal with Math and Mandarin and B. Malaysia, reading and writing when I was 6 years old... And my parent never force be to be the number one in the class or in any competition. They are happy enough to see me join the " makan keropok competition and won it "
And my moms said : I knew that you will won that! You can eat a lot!!


hmm...something will never change.......

First Dentist Visit

Indy has 4 permanent molars teeth coming out all together last month. Since I got dentist visits this month, I took her along with me to check on her teeth.

Usually , I let her speak and explain how does she feel during doctor visit. I want her to learn to express and explain to the doctor what and how she feel . Like when she got tummy pain and vomiting the other time. I asked her to tell that in her own words to the doctor. And the doctor treats her like an adult, listening to her and paying attention to her, asking some question to her. Of course I will add more details to the doctor. But my point is to let Indy have a self confidence to talk to other people and use the proper words to express how is she feeling.

The same thing in the dentist this time. I asked her to tell the dentist why she need a visit that day. She told the dentist that she got 4 teeth coming out and it hurts her gum sometime, but she feels it less now.

The dentist said the molars look ok and Indy has a great teeth and the dentist also asked her about her dental routine and praised Indy for her hygiene and care for her teeth. The dentist was so surprise whe she found out that Indy even asked me to floss her teeth after she eat meat. She ( the dentist) said : wow that is good, not even an adult will floss daily )

After that the dentist checked her teeth and then do some cleaning . Indy laughed out loud when the electric brush touched her gum made the dentist and 2 nurses laughed out too! She yelled : aaaahahahahah it 's TICKLESSSS!!!! :-D

After that the dentist gave Indy a mirror so she can see her white sparkling teeth.

6 -7 years is the time for permanent teeth to grow. Here are some of the info I found from the internet :

Eruption Time of Permanent Teeth

Permanent Teeth	Eruption Time
Central Incisor	6 to 8 years
Lateral Incisor	61/2 to 9 years
Canine	81/2 to 121/2 years
First Premolar	8 to 12 years
Second Premolar	81/2 to 13 years
First Molar	5 to 7 years
Second Molar	10 to 14 years
Third Molar (Wisdom tooth)	17 to 25 years

At about the age of 6, the first permanent molar will erupt behind the four ends of deciduous teeth; it is also called the ‘six-year molar'. At this time, parents must remember to remind their children to clean the ‘six-year molar' by brushing the very back tooth with a toothbrush and fluoride toothpaste and thoroughly brush all the tooth. This could avoid gum inflammation and caries on the ‘six-year molar'.

Generally speaking, deciduous teeth will exfoliate by themselves. There is no need to extract them because premature loss of deciduous teeth will lead to irregular permanent teeth.

Teeth will become loose during tooth transition. There may be mild bleeding during brushing. Parents should remember to advice their children to continue to keep good oral hygiene, including the area around the loose deciduous teeth, to avoid gum inflammation.

Indy in the waiting room...


I got mosquito's bite ...do you see it?



Looking cool with the glasses....
Showing off her sparkle teeth!

Before we left, I remind Indy if she got any question to ask. She asked : why some of my teeth are not straight? And I got some empty space between my teeth.
The dentist answered : You are such a observer ! You are right about that, but don't worry, when your permanent teeth grow, it wont be like that. Permanent teeth normally will be bigger than your baby teeth so it will fill the empty gap.

Indy : when is my next dentist appointment?

Dentist: your mom will bring you here to check on your permanent teeth when it will come out, in the mean time keep doing what you are doing. Brushing and flossing your teeth. You can eat candies and chocolate but not too much , just remember to brush your teeth after treats!

Indy : ok... thank you and bye...

Quirky tag

Oh GEEE....bonnie tagged me I saw this tag before I knew that I was gonna be tagged by someone, and I thought, gee what is my quirky habits? It doesn't that I am perfect, sure I got some,so I ended up doing blog hopping and read on other quirky habits and after I read it, I always thought oh I can live with that, ooh I don't like that either but I can tolerate it . SO...it actually made me realized that I am sooo "CINCAI" ( meaning...anything will be ok for me....). GEE and that is NOT GOOD!!!!
I mean I must set up a "standard" right at least for my self....???
Ok so here we go...
1. I can't see un-made beds. I can tolerate the messy floor or clutters around the room but the bed must be made. The pillows must be arrange and the blanket must be folded. It will create a cleaner look in no time. ( thanks bzbee to remind me about my habit hehehe)
2. I need to see my toes painted nicely , I can live with un pedicure toes for a few days, but I really prefer it to be paint. So when I put on any shoes ( even rubber slippers , my toes will always look good) Again bzbee, thanks for the reminder heheeh...like you say, to wear a beautiful shoes with a toes without nail polish, is like wearing nice gown without make up. LOL AGREE!!!
3.I will not leave home without : face powder, a bit of blusher, and do my eyebrow ( so thank goodness for eyebrow embroidery :p ). I don't put a lot of make up , but I need to put the basic to my face .
4. what else....oh I must have a watch on my left wrist. I will be lost without my watch
5. I must sleep with pillow covering my face, and Maya has the same habit , which make me worry that she will suffocate her self. I made my sister and moms scare too when I was young. heheh.....
6. I need to check my emails max every 2 hours, not necessary from customers , but also from my family and friends from all around the globe. That is why I get unlimited 3G plan for my mobile, so I can check my email while I washed my hair in the saloon.

Now you know my quirky habits. So it's time to let me know yours..

Rules :
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. List 6 unspectacular quirks you have.
4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each taggee's blog to let them know they've been tagged.
Kindly share with us your unspectacular quirks :

And if you are wondering...yes I also must wash my feet when I was just arrive at home, but if my dd need me first, I can delay that a bit, then I wash my feet when I am more free , and yes I also don't like dirty floor, but when I got guess and a lot of kids, I will not bother about that for a moment, I can clean up later. And yes I also don't like a sticky hand touching my glass door, but with a toddler at home I think I must live with that for a while now.

And bonnie tagged every one that I want to tag ...so..my list :
Celine
Osindak
aunty J
Melissa
Viviana
Joyce S

Never do for a child.....

My eldest daughter will be in primary school next year, we already find the school that we tought would be suitable for her. We need still need to register next month actually.
So what's next?

We heard from parents that most of us are nervous because primary is the time for exams, lots homeworks and bully....

In the kindergarten , the teaching styles are more about nurturing and caring beside the academical study. I feels like my girl is in the right environment and in the hand of good care takers and teacher. But when she will enter the primary, "the real schooling year" will just begin....

Have you think of, how to prepare them for schooling age? Is there any skills or lesson you can teach them?

Those years means more stress for kids, more pressure , competition, and challenges in the socializing with friends and peers, and in the older age , that means also to be come popular.

hmm.... why sounds so complicated.

My parenting idea is simple and for some it might be seems as " cold mom" or " non protective enough" but I believe that somehow, our children need to learn some lesson in life on their own.
We just be their guide and confidant. But I prefer , if it is the right matter, to let them deal with it first, before we , as parents will get involve.

During our life we met, meet or will meet some cruel, cold hearted and mean people and it is depends on us how to deal with them. In our children life, that is the same. You know some times kids are just being kids, and some how in the school ( as early as in kindergarten) they can make fun of other kids , making fun on their names, on their look, try to take their stuffs, try to scare them and so on

In my dd kindergarten years, she's been a victim as well, her friends make fun on her surname as in Rocco, as in " ROKOK" in bahasa Malaysia. My first reaction? I almost burst in to laugh!
In my mind....how creative these kids now a days! indiana ROKOK.....muahahahahahaha....( then I realized how early they knew about ROKOK)
but anyway, I didn't laugh of course infront of my dd. Because she seems to be pretty upset. And asked me to change her family name, because her friends were making fun of it. I told her that, I know how she feel , but we cant change our name, specially our surname just like that. That name belongs to your great grandfather and your grandfather and your father and now it belongs to you.We should be proud of it. But then she said : yaaa mom...but it sounds like ROKOK the cigarretes!!!
I told her to tell her friends that it is not nice to make fun of somebody's name, and they should stop that. And that is not nice.

She did that , and I never heard she is complaining about her Surname anymore afterthat ( this thing happened I think about 5-6 months ago). I could just go to the teacher and complain about this , to defend my girl , and ask the teacher to talk to those kids. Or I can just show up in the school and ask my dd which are the kids that make fun of her name and I give talk to them.But I prefer to let my daughter to deal with it first, let her try to speak , and if it's fail of course I will help her without being too intrusive .

I believe most of you been in this kind of situation more or less. Some being hit, or bite, some got problem with their belongings at school ( some one try to " borrow" it ) and even worse being "force" to borrow their thing to others.

Kids now adays are more mean. Is it because of TV influence? or is it dealing with stress? The pressure for them start early . The got tons of homeworks , test, and teacher expect them to excell within minimum of time and we , as parents, want them to be the best in their test, as well to behave good and do their homework on time, finish each meal without being picky, and do great in music or other activities. And for some others kids the stress could come from problem in their family, divorce, sudden lost of family member etc.

For some kids , they seems to handle it without a flaw. But for others it can be a struggle.
Stress in children can triggers some of these behaviour : lie, bully, defy authority, aggresive, create a bad behaviour, withdrawn from their friends.

One thing I notice about my dd, she is an independent girl, and she likes to handle the problem her self. This is in a way good or not good. If she got some problem at school, she will tell me about it, and I offer her some advice. Then she will solve it on her own. Some how I like to test her, and said I will help you and I will talk and ask you teacher about it. She said : no need ma, I will ask my self. Don't worry. Which , of course, without her knowledge , I go and ask to her teacher, just to follow up. The teacher told me that she handle the problem really well and said that Indiana is one brave and independent girl. And she has a good self confidence.
Well I think it is a good things. I hope she can keep that until she is big.

I think it is a good way, to let our children learn a lesson on their own. And to teach them that , they , sometimes, don't need our help all the time. Some how they can do it on their own. But we as parents will always be there for them. The same with my 2nd dd, she is now a stuborn 2 years old. And very very self focused at this time , all are ME, MY SELF AND I oh and NOW!.She try to climb, run, open and close everything that she could. Sometimes when she want to do something, I just stand at the back, I let her do things on her own, when she stumble or are gonna to fall, I will be there to catch her. But I won't do everything for her, I let her try first.


I know some of you may heard this story , about parents who told their only son, what he needs to do is to study study and study and to be the number one in the school. And let mommy take care of the rest. So this boy , just know how to study, while the other aspect of his life being taken care by his parents. At home, he always got the best food served on the table, all according to his taste, the bath are always ready for him in the right temperature, the towel, pants and everything will prepare for him. He doesn't need to worry about transport to and come back from school, because mommy will take care of everything . This is not just happen during the primary years but continue to his college years. Mom thinks that, if her son doing something else rather than studying, he will just waste his time. So she will take care of the other things for him. From food, laundry, buying underpants, socks, pants, paying his phone bills.
The son graduated from his college with excellent result and then got a good job at one top company in the other part of the country. When hi goes there, he doing a good job , but struggle to deal with everyday situation , he never knows how to boil an egg, cook an instant noodle, operate a washing machine, or microwave, or buy his own underpants or sock or shoes, or clothing, he doesn't even know what size he is wearing. He never learn all of that, because everytime he wants to do that, his mom always shooed him away and said let mommy take care of this, this is not important, your just give me a good grade, pass all the test and graduate and be the best in your school/college. He also never deal with his sosializing problem during his school years, since his mom will take care all of his problem with his friends or teacher, and also his mom will help him to choose who to be friends with, what book to read, what place to go etc.
The first time when he wrote his mom a letter, it was : Mommy, I was graduated from college, and got my degree, but I was just enroll in REAL LIFE as in pre Kindergarten. I wish you let me learn those things before.

I think , what I want to say in one short sentence is :
Never do for a child what he 's capable of doing for himself

And yes, that is one of the Montessori Method is about. I read about that from Cel's blog.

And I think by letting them to "help" me or the maid doing some of the house chores will also build their self confident too! Even it is just to crack an egg during cookies making session, put a key into my bag, bring me my mobile etc. And to see their proud faces after that , is so much fun ( plus Lil Maya will say : maya elp mama!!)

" Experience is a hard teacher because it gives the test first and the lesson afterward"

August Trip

This is suppose to be posted on August but I forget about it...

We went to Kundasang and stayed in Pine Resort. And the next day we went to Poring hot spring and also the butterfly garden. I like the canopy walk, and this is Indy second walk up in the canopy, the first when she was 3 years old. And she did all the steps almost on her own, which is pretty amazing for a kid that young.

Maya , at this age, of course been carried by her dad. But on the canopy , she was actually relax and not scare. Indy , again did all on her own, she actually walked faster than me in the canopy and make it moved more , so I must asked her to slow down a bit, as mama was scare when the canopy moves a a lot ...haha

To reach the canopy, we must walk up the steps of 400 M long. And then I think there we 5 canopies all together that we must walk through...

on our way to the hotel , we stop to take pictures

This is at Kinabalu National Park

The Magnificent Mt. Kinabalu

Photo with Mt Kinabalu as the background
Arriving at Poring hot spring

Walk in the Canopy

If I do this everyday I will loose weight and gain muscles in my legs....and thigh...
Say Hi Maya!!!!


Indy said she is like the Diego the Jungle ranger

BABAFAI....She means butterfly.....

What is your blog purpose?

Ok just got this question in my mind a second ago ( seriously)
what is the purpose of your blog?

For me it is just to share, and hope people will enjoy it a bit to read about my family and my life. Although not all the details I will share with everybody.

I also enjoy to read other's blogs. To know about what others thinking and experiencing, to feel like we share their life and point a view and I think it is a great way to keep in touch with each other.

But have you read a blog that mostly are complaining about their life, and their worries and their kids and the school and so on and so on....
It makes feel down and thinking that for sure the writer doesn't enjoy her/his life and see all things from the very negative point a view. Every body got their own dilemma and we can't control every single day with all the details. So come on...loosen up a bit and enjoy and be grateful of your life! Life is too short for complaining...

Sure our life are not just all good. and it is good also to complain or let it out on the blog. But if the content are more about complaining it makes the blog looks so depressing and so sad.

Well what am I talking.....I am just make a complaint here in my blog about that blog!!!! "=)

Have a good day you all.. Remember if things dont go your way today.... don't freak out!
Try your best but most of all remember to enjoy your day and your family still and HAVE FUN!!!!!!