The Bullies

Reading from KhloeK's blog about bullies.

Lately I've been hearing a lot of horror stories about bullying and I wanted to take a moment to vent my frustrations about the issue.  I'm sure most of you have heard about Phoebe Prince, a teenage girl who hung herself after constantly being badgered by kids at school.  I also heard about an eleven-year-old boy who took his life as well after being bullied by his peers. 

And I also heard some stories of bullies in our neighborhood countries . It is not uncommon. Or you even had the experience with your own children.
This is a very serious matter to be consider and for us to speak and help them.

As parent we need to teach our children the importance of being kind, that is why I kep blabbling again and again that good character building is VERY important.
I know we are all so stressed out about the grade, the academic results, but we must also see things from the children side of story. They are dealing much more now a days compared to our old schooling days.
There are academic pressures, parent's pressure, peer pressure and still must dealing with bullies .
The most common also is the " popularity issues" ,mostly happens for girls. When they grow older, there is pressure in fashion ( who can wear the latest and branded fashion) , be popular in school, dating the "it" guy, having the latest cool high tech gadget ( latest phone, Wii, PS3 ). The list are endless.....


What I've seen sometimes is that as parents, we often , can't see that our own children needs help. Sometimes the "tween" age is the age that is tricky, they are not so open with their own parents. Or , they feel , when they said something to their parents, the parents just brushed it aside . Like for example : if a girl  cried for some how a silly thing, the parent often just said : stop crying , you are not a baby anymore, why must cry for such a matter?
The fact is : baby or not, even adult we still cry sometimes.
How can you expect a kid to open up and talk to their parents if the parents just brushed them off like that?
It makes they feel like their problem is not important.


Same like, if the kid wants to talk to their parents about the bullies at school. But the parents just brushed the matter off again.

Also, if the bullies matter is about the race. Please do not make it worse by telling your kids that is certain race is like that. Or make it worst to say that because of their skin color the friends often make fun or her.


I was raised in the biggest Muslim population  country. Trust me, I know what is like to be raised up in a racist environment. Now, however , it is getting better there. And I , as a kid, promised to my self one thing :
Even though sometimes it is hard to be called named of my race , in front of public, and felt really really intimidating, I make a vow to my self that this wont turn be to be one of them /racist. If I have the " revenge" feeling, and I can't let it go, the world won't change to a better place. I need to do what is the opposite of what I've been through. I don't want to have the bitterness to caged my whole adult life. I don't want my kids to grow up as the person I don't like when I was a kid.


So , please , parents , do not raise your kids with your own bitter childhood ( what ever is it , in my case that is racist, some might have been their poverty, very strict parents, broken home childhood etc). Let it go, and make this world a better place , starting with your own family.


If you are the parents of the bullied kids , please take action ! It is not too late.
If you think your kids is having some problem,  please talk to them, heart to heart, as friend, not as parents. Show them that they could talk to you and trust you with that matter. The sad thing is that often parents doesn't know what is going own with their children life.( Specially with older kids , when you feel like you lead your own life and your kids are having their own life and you feel there is some connection missing)
If you think that your kids are the bullies, please talk to them,  teach them to be kind, because knowledge , power, and wealth with no kindness won't take them far.

To the parents of the bullies: Kindness is the #1 lesson to teach your children.

To witnesses of bullying: Intervene, no matter what it does to your reputation!!!

To the children being bullied: Hang in there, things will only get better as you get older.

 

XOXO
S.R